Aww who am I kidding, I've been working on my music for 8 damn years, and despite all my efforts, I've yet to even have a full band to jam with. I've used networking sites, I've used the classifieds, I've tried friends, I've even tried paid sites that are all about finding band members... But every single person I've ever talked to has bailed on me... Every last one.

And I'm sick of it, I can't play a show by myself, if I can't find a band, I can't play live, if I can't play live, I can't get exposure. 8 years working on my music, and I've yet to make an inch of progress. Screw music, thanks for nothing...

Maybe I'll just suck it up and be a mindless drone like every other zombie on this fucking planet.

Day after day, people go about their individual lives completing mundane repetitive tasks, dreaming of the lives they could, or should, be living instead. Everyone has these dreams, hopes of a better more fulfilling life somewhere down the road.
Some people dream of being rich, or famous. Some people of love and happily ever afters. Some even of danger or death. All the while, we are all oblivious to everything else around us. We are oblivious to the hopes and dreams of those we bump into on the street. Blind and careless when faced with a stranger who just lost a loved one.

We live disconnected lives, with one track minds and complete tunnel vision presenting only one road forward... our own. Anything or anyone in the way is but an obstacle. Some people slow down, or even come to a complete stop to help or support those around them, taking away precious time from their own journey to aid friends, family, or in rare cases, complete strangers. Others push into full throttle and cut the brake lines, demolishing everything in their way to reach their own goals as fast as possible.
But for what? Material reward? Social recognition?
Most people spend their whole lives working towards goals they will never reach, as a select few live to achieve what they set out to do. Along the way friends are made, hearts are broken, and battles of all natures are fought. When we inevitably reach the end of the tracks, be it natural or premature, what have we gained? What will go with us into the blackness?

Others will mourn, some will cheer, but in time, all will be back to normal. People will go on without you, and aside from the select few that may attend the ceremony, many will go on without ever even knowing you existed.
Why do we live as we do when everything we accomplish will eventually come crashing down in hopes that someone will be there to pick it back up in your absence? Realistically, how many of us will "make a difference", truly? As it is, we come into this world causing pain, and we leave the world causing more pain.

This time inbetween birth and demise baffles even the most acknowledged and brilliant minds of our planet.

"What is the meaning of life?"

Everyone wonders, and no one seems to know the answer.
But here today, I will tell you. And no, it is not some religious bullshit spat out by the "hand of god".

The true answer to The Question...

The Meaning of Life is....

Fuck it... I'm going to bed.

Thank you to those that recommended me a Alesis Micron Synthesizer for my synth metal needs. I am absolutely loving the sound of this thing. Even better I can create full beats/songs on the thing as well... Once I figure out how to use it that is.

But in any case, loving the synth, glad the lovely people on the audio forum pointed me to it.

Humanity is a virus to the earth and should be exterminated.

That is all.

So, since my last update I have found my way into a band (Sort of). While talking with a buddy about how hard it is to find dedicated musicians, his dad (Who happens to be a drummer) asked if I'd like to come jam with him and a couple other people. So... I did. And from there, we started writing songs, we're up to 4-5 songs in the works now, even if it's just guitar and drums (Although I'm working on lyrics for them as well).

And now that I have a good reason to write, the creative juices are flowing better than ever, and my drive to become a better guitarist is even stronger. I'll be uploading less as I'll be working on our songs, I can't guarantee any uploads of the songs for security sake (Last thing we need is to upload an awesome song idea and have someone post it elsewhere as their own). But I'll try upload stuff here as well, if as nothing else but song ideas.

So, here's the deal, anyone who does follow my music (The very select few, I know, you don't have to tell me), knows that I very very rarely finish a song... I'll post an intro, or a "Teaser" for something, and then never deliver the final product.
Well, I'm hoping to change that, starting with As It Rains. Then maybe shortly after instead of writing something else new to put up as a sample, I'll go back and finish something else that I started, maybe "The Teaser" as the couple reviews I did get between the zero bombs seemed to get right into it. Could be a bit difficult to finish as I do not have the original project file, but oh well, I'll figure out a way.

That aside... I am yet again bandless (As if I had a band to begin with). Every single time I find a "musician" to group up with and jam, they bail for one reason or another, or just stop talking to me altogether. I've had numerous singers say they want in... then they stop messaging me, a couple guitarist, maybe one drummer... All of which showed interest then just disappeared off the face of the earth.
Do dedicated musicians even exist anymore? At this point, I'm debating up and moving to somewhere a little more musician friendly, as where I am right now... obviously isn't the right place to find musicians who are both talented AND dedicated.

But oh well, the search goes on, and my solo project crawls ever so slowly forward.

But for a better cause this time. I'm not working on random shit (Although I probably should be on the side... a lot of unfinished songs that I still intend to finish). I'm not taking a break from playing guitar.

I am... in fact, catching up on a bunch of stuff I missed in music theory (As I am self taught and am guilty of skipping a lot of that stuff).
Why? Because I'm planning to audition for a 4 year music course based around rock, pop, and jazz music (For those that don't know, a lot of jazz/blues scales are used in heavy metal music, especially in solos). The catch is... the AUDITION to get in is out of my league... So I'm spending A LOT of time catching up on the stuff that I skipped over to be able to make it past this audition.

In any case, I am trying to get some new stuff up (And finish some old stuff too), while I'm catching up on all the theory I skipped over. So I'm hoping to have more stuff up before the end of the year (I would certainly hope).

I am not dead. I am just in hiding.

So, after a long hiatus... I was hoping to share something with everyone browsing the audio portal. Something absolutely amazing, and by far one of my most professional pieces yet. I wasn't anywhere near done, as I just spent about 8 hours on it earlier today. I managed a nice peaceful, flowing introduction made up of a full orchestra, that built it's way into a happy chorus with a sudden shift to imminent danger.
The verse after picks right up into full gear with a very Nightwish inspired orchestral metal sound.

Unfortunately for myself and those on the audio portal... FruityLoops decided it wanted to piss me off, and deleted my orchestra when I saved it. Having spent 7 of those 8 hours working on getting that bit just perfect, I tried to bring it back to life from scratch, only to fail miserably. The only part of the song still in tact was my big pick up... Which at this point in time is a whopping 1% of the song I spent all those 8 hours working on.
The reason I found afterwards that FruityLoops deleted my orchestra was because I only had the demo version of the plugin that was generating my orchestra sounds. Had it been more clear about what would happen if I tried to save, I would have left the program running until I was satisfied enough with it to export it to MP3 to begin recording my guitar tracks.

So, after failing to revive or recover my complete orchestra, I not only came insanely close to deleting FL Studio and throwing my computer against the wall... I also gave up, and decided to try again another day, and hope to achieve the same greatness I had in that 8 hours earlier.

Although one thing is for certain.... I will be sure to ALWAYS save my songs to MP3 BEFORE I try to save them as a project... at least that way if I lose any data, I can listen to the song and remake it that way for further editing.

So, this unfortunately means, I still will not have any new music up for a while, as I am back to work in a day, and will have to spend probably 5 times the time I took to create that piece to RECREATE it.

Until then. This is Back From Purgatory,
Signing off.

I'm a self taught guitarist with 6 years of experience, melodic metal is my style, and fame from my music is what I'm shooting for. None of this, gonna play with a band in my garage for a couple years as a hobby shit. I'm going all the way. There's no other option, succeed or die trying.

If you don't like my music, screw you, there's plenty of people that do.
If you do like my music, awesome, look forward to seeing you at a show sometime in the near future.

Keep it metal,
Back From Purgatory,
Signing off.